If you’re going through divorce and have children, we suggest also checking out the article we previously wrote on how to win child custody Is there anything more overwhelming and emotionally draining than divorce? Indeed, giving up a relationship you built and watch as your lover turns into a stranger is overwhelming. If you’re going through a divorce and you feel terrible emotionally and physically, I want you to know that it’s normal.
It takes a lot of courage and emotional strength to come out strong and happy. Apart from the emotional aspect, you will have to deal with the mechanical, legal and other aspects of divorce. While going through a divorce, it is important that you approach and handle it the right way. This will reduce the difficulty and pain of the process. If you’re in need of help, learn how a private investigator can help you.
Handling your divorce
Once you have decided divorce is the solution you want, you have to brace yourself and handle things. The earlier you sort your life out, the sooner you will overcome the emotional and psychological stress, and move on. There are several important tips that will help you through the procedural process of your divorce.
Education
Since laws govern marriage and divorce, you must start educating yourself. Learn about the rules, precedents, and laws that govern divorce procedures in the state where you live. The internet has a lot of materials on this; you will also need to talk to people who have gone through the divorce process.
You can also learn by attending divorce education workshops or learning sessions in your Community. Sieve through what you learn, and retain the most reputable and consistent.
Divorce Attorney
Once you have gained good knowledge, get yourself proper representation. Get a lawyer who specializes in divorce cases, someone who is state-licensed. Hiring a lawyer is the right move. It may cost you, but it offers you the best chances throughout the process. A lawyer will look out for your interest all through the process and manage a lot of the stress for you.
Homework
Division of property, debt and other responsibilities are all components of the divorce process. It is important that you are conscious and prepare for this part. Gather all the documents like marriage certificate, loan papers, Investment account statements, property documents, and more.
Keep all these in a safe place for use as proof in court (if need be). Take note of conversations, agreements, calls, and emails exchanged between you, your lawyer and soon-to-be ex-spouse. All of these will be useful in court.
Plan
As you go through your divorce, reach some agreement with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. It includes agreements on child custody, child support, the division of property and debt, and more. If you have specific details and plans all worked out, it will make the court approval process much easier.
Behave
Yes, divorce is painful and your soon-to-be ex-spouse may have hurt you in unimaginable ways, but behave. This is a fundamental rule, especially for court appearances. You need the court to believe that you are a responsible adult capable of handling yourself. Don’t make them think otherwise because this is critical to whether the Court’s decision will be in your favor or not.
Across the world, it has become increasingly difficult for couples to last long in a marriage. This outcome is associated with several factors such as infidelity, finance, unhealthy habits, distance, career, etc. No matter the reason, the rate at which couples put themselves through the emotionally draining process of divorce is quite alarming.
Rates of divorce in Louisiana
Interestingly, in the United States divorce is an option many couples choose, thus, the high rate across the country. However, there are states with really alarming rates and others with low rates. Generally, these rates have been found to be affected by the rate of unemployment and median household income of each state.
Louisiana has the 7th lowest marriage rate in the United States. The marriage rate in this state is at 11.9 per 1000 persons, while the divorce rate is at 20.8 per 1000 married persons. This rate is the 4th highest in the United States, making Louisiana the 4th in the ranking of states with the highest divorcees.
The average cost of divorce
It is quite ironic that getting unmarried or divorced costs as much as getting married. The cost of a divorce consists of:
- Attorney’s fee/Retainer
- Court costs and service fees;
- Fees for early neutral evaluations;
- Mediation costs.
This is apart from refinancing costs; recording deed fees; and added hourly attorney’s fees that you will pay if real estate is involved. If there is a business involved, you may also pay for the cost of business valuation and CPA and other professional fees. If children are involved, there are additional costs such as parent education.
Therefore, it is safe to say that the average cost of divorce in the United States is between $15,000 and $20,000. But there are high profile divorces that cost millions.
Children of divorced parents
Though children do not cause their parents to get divorced, they suffer the most. No matter their age at the time of separation, divorce has long-lasting effects on children. The psychological and emotional trauma leaves indelible marks on their lives.
In the short-term, Children of divorced parents always struggle emotionally. They often exhibit anger and sadness, which often leads to isolation and social difficulties. This affects their academic performance. These children may even feel guilty and blame themselves for their parent’s separation.
As far as long-term impact goes, children of divorced parents carry a lot of baggage. They are prone to drug abuse, depression, criminality and most likely end up in broken marriages too. Generally, these children have worse life outcomes than children who grow up in functional and intact families. Ultimately, if divorce is avoidable, why not?
But if you must go through with it, get prepared. Know the consequences and possible outcomes. It helps a lot. Remember to take care of yourself emotionally and physically before, during and after the process.